A Dripping Faucet

Proverbs 19:13

A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping.

If you have ever had a dripping faucet, you understand its annoyance, especially if you are in a quiet place. There have been times in my travels when there was a dripping faucet in the hotel room that I was staying in. Because I was the only one in the room, that dripping faucet seemed to be very loud. Eventually, because I could not fix it, I simply closed the door to the restroom that had the dripping faucet so that I no longer had to hear it.

God says the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. The word contentions means disagreements, arguments, acrimony, strife, opinions, and conflicts. This word is powerful because it describes what often happens in a home between a husband and wife. The contentions become so sharp that it damages the marital relationship. When God says these contentions are a continual dropping, He is saying they are two things to the person who has to put up with it.

First, he is saying the contentions are a constant dripping. It is a drip, drip, drip. In other words, it is a contention, contention, contention. It simply is one contention after another; they just keep dripping into the relationship continually. The frustration this will cause in a marriage is enormous. The contentious person is that dripping faucet who just keeps dripping their contention without stop.

Second, he is saying the continual dropping is exasperating to the marriage. The person who continues to drip their contentions becomes an annoyance to the person who has to put up with it. At first, you think you can handle the dripping of the contentions, but at some point, the dripping is all you hear from that person, and at this point is when bad things begin to happen in a marriage.

Two things happen when someone has to deal with the continual dripping of contention. First, they will try to fix it. Just like a dripping faucet in your house, you try to fix the drip. The problem with trying to fix a contentious spouse that drips contention continually is that you cannot fix them.

Because you cannot fix a contentious spouse that drips contention continually, it leads to the second action; they close the door on you. In other words, they shut down and don't listen to you anymore. There comes a point of frustration when a person is done dealing with the drama of a spouse who continually drips contention, and it is at that point they shut you down. Just like I closed the door in my hotel room, they close the door to their heart to you, and your marriage at that point is dead, even if you are still together.

What is the answer to fixing this dripping faucet of contention? The answer is that the person who does the dripping needs to get over themselves and stop dripping the contention in the marriage. You may run your spouse off if you don't stop the dripping. If you want great communication, then stop dripping the contention.

If you are the one who has to deal with the dripping of contention, the only answer is to ask God to give you grace for your spirit, and to help you to correct whatever you may be doing to contribute to this. Do not quit your marriage, but ask God to change the heart of the contentious spouse who drips contention continually.