Counsel Shopping

1 Kings 12:5

And he said unto them, Depart yet for three days, then come again to me. And the people departed.

Rehoboam made the same mistake many make in that he did not like the initial counseling he received from the older men, so he shopped around for the counseling he wanted to hear. The problem with his shopping is that the product he received was a faulty product. The problem with shopping for counseling is that you often get the product you want, but find out it is not what you thought it was. There was no need for Rehoboam to take three days counseling if he was going to shop for counseling. Rehoboam should have used those three days to pray for God’s mind and heed the counsel of the older and wiser men.

As a pastor, I have learned that if someone is shopping for counseling, they are not truly looking for the right thing to do, but they are looking for someone to tell them to do what they have already made their minds up to do. Many have walked away from God’s Will because they found someone who would tell them to do what they had already decided to do. There are several dangers about shopping for counseling that you need to consider.

First, you are wasting time when you shop for counseling. Shopping for counseling wastes the time of the people you are seeking counseling from. Their time is of more value than for you to waste it trying to justify what you have already decided to do. To waste someone’s time when you are shopping for counseling should tell you that what you want to do is the wrong thing. Time is a gift from God that people cannot take back, and for to waste someone’s time as you shop for counseling only enforces the fact that you only care about yourself and what you want to do.

Second, just because someone told you what you wanted to hear does not justify that it is right. If you shop for counseling long enough, you will eventually find someone that will tell you what you want to hear; however, that does not make it right. What you want to hear means you have made up your mind, and it will not matter how many counselors tell you not to do what you want to do, you will do it anyway because you made up your mind.

Third, you likely already know what to do if you are shopping for counseling. If you already know what to do, instead of wasting everyone’s time including yours, just do what you know is right to do. Right does not change because you find someone to tell you differently; right is right all the time, and shopping for counseling does not change it.

Fourth, shopping for counseling is not obeying the Scriptures about safety being in the multitude of counselors. The multitude of counselors is talking about using God’s Word, prayer, history, and the wise counselor you have used in the past. Getting several people’s voice on what you want to do is often a waste of time. I am a believer that if you are saved, the Holy Spirit has already spoken to you about what you should do, therefore, your action should be to obey the Holy Spirit instead of shopping for counseling.

My friend, going in with an open mind is the best way to approach counseling. The purpose for counseling is to help guide you in the right way when you have no idea which way is right. Yes, you should always seek counsel, but seek it to obey it and not to confirm your true feelings of what you desire to do.