Speaking the Truth in Love

Ephesians 4:15

But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

Nobody grows in the Lord unless somebody speaks the truth in love. When I look at my life and those who invested in me, I oftentimes see that tough love was given to me so that I could grow. My parents always loved me, and they loved me enough to tell me the truth, even if that truth was not always agreeable to what I wanted to hear or do. I have had pastors who loved me enough to tell me the truth that I did not want to hear, but that truth is what grew me as a believer. God’s purpose for speaking the truth in love is so that His children can grow in all things. Let me share several observations about what speaking the truth in love means.

First, nobody grows properly with someone speaking the truth in love. You will notice that growing in all things is a result of speaking the truth in love. Someone must love you enough to tell you the truth if you are to grow in Christ. If all you seek is for pastors or teachers who tell you what you want to hear, you will never grow in Christ. We have a plethora of immature believers because many believers are quick to leave when someone speaks to them the truth. If you cannot take the truth, you cannot grow in Christ.

Second, truth does not always seem loving. When a pastor preaches a harder sermon that steps on your toes, it does not always feel good, but that sermon is more of a loving sermon than the sermons that pat you on the back and tell you what you want to hear. The world is filled with churches that have preachers who are afraid to speak the truth because it might offend someone, but those churches are filled with immature and worldly believers. Someone telling you the truth may hurt and feel like it is directed at you, but that simply shows the love of the one speaking to you.

Third, true love always has truth. “Love” without truth is not true love. I often hear people talk about preachers as loving because they sound so kind. I have news for you, just because someone is kind does not mean they love you. I am kind to every person I see, but that does not mean that I love every person I see. I am kind because I am supposed to be kind to people. The parent that is always kind to their children are not loving parents because good parents will at times have to spank or discipline their children, which will not seem to be loving. Let me illustrate this statement. True love tells the person doing wrong that they are doing wrong, even if it offends them. However, the person who never wants to offend someone and won't tell the truth is not someone who truly loves. True love always tells the truth, even if the truth is offensive to the one hearing it.

Fourth, truth is not always spoken in love, but it is still truth. Though “love” without truth is not true love, truth without love is still truth. Truth does not change whether someone says it in a loving or hateful way. Love does not make truth, but speaking truth is loving even if it is not spoken in a loving way. If I have to choose between someone who sounds loving or someone who is brash in speaking truth, I will choose the one who speaks the truth because truth will grow me. The harshness of truth spoken should not cause you to avoid listening to the truth, but it should cause you to pause and do what truth tells you to do. Truth spoken in love will always do more to help than truth spoken alone; however, it does not matter how truth is spoken, we should heed truth’s warnings if we want to enjoy God’s blessings.