The Secret Ingredient of Successful Marriages
Song of Solomon 4:10
How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices!
Solomon most certainly could have talked about the beauty of his wife, and he did. He could've talked about the perfumes that she wore, and he did. However, the one thing that caught Solomon's attention about his wife was her love for him and his love for her. Solomon may have had many weaknesses, but the one strength he had in his marriage was that he focused on the love that he had for his wife, and that love is what kept that marriage strong and passionate.
One of the greatest things that destroys marriages is that they get off focus. Most marriage disputes stem from focusing on the negatives of our spouse rather than staying focused on what drew us together, and that was our love for each other. When I am counseling people, one thing I often ask them from the very beginning is whether they still love their spouse. It never fails that nearly every time I ask that question, they answer affirmatively and dogmatically that they love their spouse. However, somehow they got off focused in their marriage and, instead of focusing on their love for each other, they got focused on peripheral things that drive a wedge in a marriage.
My grandparents were married for 72 years. I remember talking with my grandfather one day about what was the secret to them staying married for so many years. You have to understand that my grandmother was not the easiest person to get along with, and at times, she could be outright hateful. Don't get me wrong; she was a good lady, but how she responded to people at times could be hurtful and hateful. However, my grandfather told me that the reason they stayed together for all those years is because they made a vow to each other and to God, and that their love for each other was greater than the problems that they faced.
If you are going to have a happy marriage, you must stay focused on your love for your spouse. The secret ingredient to a successful marriage is staying focused on the love that you have for your spouse. Why is love the secret ingredient to keeping a marriage strong? The reason that love is that secret ingredient is because love will overlook the weaknesses of the one upon whom it is placed. Proverbs 10:12 says, Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.
My friend, you have a choice in your marriage to either focus on the weaknesses of your spouse and what you don't like about them, or you can focus on the love that they have for you and you have for them, and your marriage will stay strong. It is easy to focus on the weaknesses of a person, but it takes strength and character to focus on the love that you have for each other. If you stay focused on your love for your spouse, you will find that love will overlook the weaknesses of your spouse.
Moreover, if you focus on the love that you have for your spouse, you will find that you will do everything in your power to meet their needs physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There will never be a time when you won't inconvenience yourself to meet the needs of your spouse if you let love be the focus of your marriage. Stop focusing on the weaknesses and get focused on the love that you have for your spouse, and you will be surprised how strong your marriage will become.
Recommended reading from Old Paths Publications:
Comments