What To Do When THEY Changed

Deuteronomy 23:7

Thou shalt not abhor an Edomite; for he is thy brother: thou shalt not abhor an Egyptian; because thou wast a stranger in his land.

God commanded Israel that there were two groups of people that they were to be good to. God said they were not to abhor the Edomite because he was their brother. God said that they were not to abhor an Egyptian because they had fed and cared for them for many years in the land of Egypt. God was teaching an important principle to Israel that they were never to forget those who invested in them.

Everyone has someone who has invested in them, and we must never become so self-centered that we forget them. Whether they are alive or dead, these people deserve to be honored. We live in a day when we tend to forget those who have invested in us once we have become successful. It is a very self-centered and ungrateful person who does not honor those who have invested in them.

However, what do we do when the person who has invested in us changes? What do we do when our alma mater has changed from what it used to be? What do we do when our pastor who invested in us no longer stands where he once used to stand? What do we do when a Sunday school teacher or a parent has changed from what they taught us to do? What do we do when those who have invested in us have left our church disgruntled? Let me share a few steps you can take in this situation.

First, don't justify their change. Just because they have changed doesn't mean it is right. I can love someone who has invested in me, but I don't have to justify their change. Their change is wrong, and that does not mean that I need to change with them. To continue treating them as if they have not changed only validates to the next generation that change is OK. My friend, changing is never right no matter who it is. You may love those who have invested in you, but you cannot justify their change to the wrong.

Second, remember the years when they were good and when they invested in you. I may not be able to point to them now, but I can point to the years when they stood for right and invested in me. Those years that they invested in you are still good, and those are the years that you must remember them for.

Third, don't set out to destroy what they taught you because they have changed. What they taught you in those years is still right. Just because someone who invested in us no longer believes what they taught us does not mean that what they taught us is no longer true. Truth is truth, and the truth they taught us should cause us to stay true to truth even when they have changed.

Fourth, don't retaliate against them because they don't want anything to do with you. It may hurt that because you had to pull away they don't want anything to do with you, but you cannot retaliate because of their treatment of you.

Fifth, give them honor when you have the opportunity. You may not be able to fellowship with them, but you can still honor them for their investment in you. A note of gratitude sent to them, or an honor bestowed on them when you have the opportunity is good. By doing this, you teach the next generation that you can honor those who have invested in you without changing yourself.