Be the Leader of Your Home

1 Timothy 3:12

Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.

One requirement of a deacon is that they rule their children and their own houses well. This command to the deacons is really a command to all men. Deacons are chosen from the men in the church, which means that men are to be the leaders in their homes.

One of the great reasons homes are so dysfunctional is because of the lack of leadership from men. Men are busier playing and living their own lives while the wife is at home trying to make the home work. Because of the void of leadership from the man, the woman often steps up to lead, which always creates dysfunction in the home. The children see the dysfunction, and they play the parents against each other to the detriment of their own future. The husband does not like that the wife won’t listen to him, but she has had to make decisions that he was supposed to make because he was absent at the time of the decision. Once a woman takes that role of leading, they rarely give it back because they don't trust the husband to fill his role. This does not make it right, but it simply shows that a husband not filling his role as the leader in the home always causes dysfunction in the home and strife in the marriage. Let me share some areas where the man needs to lead in the home.

First, the man needs to lead in decisions. Decisions are not always easy, but to run from your responsibility as the decision-maker of the home only forces the wife to have to make the decisions. Just because it is uncomfortable to make decisions does not mean you should run and hide. You need to make the decisions about which church to attend, but you also need to make the decision to stay in the church despite your wife’s grumblings about the church. You have to be the leader. Be the leader and make the financial decisions, spiritual decisions, and the decision that your home will serve the Lord in some ministry in the church. Making a decision is not telling your family what you will do, and they have to make their own decision, but it saying as Joshua said, as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Second, the man needs to lead in spirituality. Men ought to know more about God’s Word than their wife does. Men ought to pray more than their wife prays. The greatest prayer warrior in the home ought to be the man. Likewise, the greatest example of faith in the home ought to be the man. The wife and children should be able to look to the husband and dad and see a great spiritual example of how they should live their lives by faith.

Third, the man needs to lead in discipline. Men, stop shoving the discipline off to your wife. Don't make her the bad person all the time because you never discipline your children. The children ought to know that dad and mom are on the same page when it comes to the rules of the house, and that both will discipline them if needed. Never shy away from disciplining your children as they need to see a man who is not afraid to punish a child when they do wrong.

Men, are you ruling your house or is your house ruling itself? A home without male leadership is a home that gives uncertain direction to the children, which always directs them to the world. If the men will step up and rule their houses well, the church will have plenty of leaders to help lead the church as it grows.