Let’s Have a Victory

1 Peter 3:9

Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

One of the great causes of marital squabbles is the inability to leave the past to obtain a victory today. Many marriages that have problems find themselves always using the past to throw in the face of their spouse so they can feel justified in being a poor spouse themselves.

God commands the believer not to render evil for evil. Nobody wins in a relationship when we use the past as a weapon to win an argument today. The problem with going to the past to win an argument today is that you cannot fix the past. To continue bringing up past actions to throw at your spouse only hurts your present and future. Now, it is our natural sin nature to throw up the past, but when you stop to think about what you are doing, there is nothing that will be accomplished by using the past to try to fix the present. Let me ask you, how is the person you keep throwing the past against supposed to fix what they did in the past? Satan loves it when married couples use the past to throw at their spouse, because he knows as long as you live in past failures you will never fix the shortcomings you presently have. Let me give some advice on this topic that will help you rebuild from where you are.

First, both spouses in a marriage must decide to let the past be gone. You cannot move on from past failures to build a bright future if you continue to throw the past failures at each other in an attempt to win the argument. Always remember that both sides lose any time you go to the past to use as a weapon in a present disagreement. You must let the past be done, and choose to deal with the actions of the present if you will find victory with your marital issues.

Second, you will never resolve your marital issues by focusing on the negative. The negative tends to blind you from seeing the good progress your spouse is making. Rendering evil for evil is a negative focus. Rendering evil for evil is a focus to find the sin you can use as a weapon. You will always find something negative you can use as a weapon because humans are sinful, and there is no person that doesn't have sin in their lives, including you. Don't spend your life looking at the negatives of people, but spend your life rejoicing over the positives you see in their lives. This is always a better focus that leads to better results to overcome shortcomings in one’s life.

Third, choose to have a victory each day. The best way to overcome a shadowed past in your marriage is to choose to have victories every day. When you render evil for evil, you spend years of dwelling on the defeat, which keeps you from having a victory. The best way to start rebuilding a marriage is by choosing to have victories together every day. One of the best ways you can have a victory every day and start rebuilding good memories is by reading God’s Word and praying together daily. The fact that you are doing something together is a victory. Anytime a couple gets in the Word of God together and prays together is a victory for the couple and a defeat for Satan. You can start rebuilding a life of trust and good memories by simply having a victory every day that comes from reading God’s Word and praying together. You have to choose daily to have victory or to live in the past of rendering evil for evil. Choosing a victory each day is the answer to rebuilding what is broken in a marriage.