Choosing Between Family and Ministry

Matthew 10:35

For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

There is a mindset that we must not lose our children for the ministry. Now, this sounds really spiritual, but it is actually one of the most unscriptural statements. I know what I just said may make some squirm a bit, but God makes it very clear about the choice between family and ministry.

Jesus said in the verse above, For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. God is clear that when it comes to choosing between family and God, you must choose God. God must be your choice above anything, and if that means choosing to spend time with family over serving God to keep them happy, I must choose God. It might set me at variance with my children, but God must always be our first choice. Let me share some thoughts about this critical principle.

First, you will never be right with family when you choose family over God. Those who think that family is more important than ministry have chosen their family over God. I don't want you to think that I believe we ought not to spend time with family, but when family or family activities demand that I must not fulfill my obligations to God, I must choose God. This will not make you popular with family, but it will keep you right with God.

Second, you should involve your family as you serve God so you can have family time as you serve God. Throughout the years, when my daughter was still in our home, I took her to meetings with me, soul winning, and ministry activities. I didn't leave her home as I served God; I included her with me as I served God. If you include your children in your ministry activities, you can have family time doing the most important thing, serving God together. I would much rather my daughter’s memories be that she got to serve God with her dad instead of being that she got to be worldly with her dad. It is truly a simple choice: include your family as you serve God. That is what Joshua was teaching when he said, As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.

Third, schedule activities around serving God instead of scheduling God around family activities. This is not a novel idea; this is simply some common sense. I hear people say that they went to every sporting event their child was in, and I applaud that if it didn't pull you away from serving God. Instead of canceling your service to God to be at an event your child is in, you should schedule that event around serving God. If God is to be first in our lives, then we must schedule family events and child activities around serving God. It is simply a scheduling choice.

Fourth, when you must choose between serving God and appeasing family, you must choose to serve God. Here is the key that many don't want to make, but if you love God first, you will always choose God over anyone or anything, and that includes family. Satan is a master at getting us to make it sound spiritual that I must choose family over ministry activities, but that is a choice to remove God from being first in your life. When God sits on the throne of your life, it will never be a difficult decision when you must choose between Him and your family, for they are the ones who made the choice to leave God, not you.